Today is the twenty-ninth anniversary of Jay White's death. While I use gallows humor much of the time to deal with the awfulness I find in my research, moments like these remind me that none of this is a joke. If you're out there thinking you're at the end of your road because of how you feel inside, please ask for the help that is always available once you take the first step.
Such a sad story. Can only begin to imagine what he went through. Daddy's response was something like "what a loser!" Yeah.
ReplyDeleteI'm truly sorry, man,
ReplyDeleteDidn't anyone tell you anything to deal with your pain
before you left this earth on that Colorado plain?
Didn't you say that, we guess you did, you thought and tried
no one saw you when you hung your head and cried and thought
so many times:
but why me why did it have to be me I dream and how I think it could have been different for all my years and the fall of tears after you told me
but I was just a yong boy oh if only it could have been that it wasn't me
people laughing shaking their heads like I was walking to those dark scary trees at places I don't know that rhyme with Cielo and Waverly
I just wanted to keep playing and doin' and being like my little friends
laughing and jumping around isn't the park and the cartoons and nice things for
all of us growing in well isn't this the land of the free why me why dear God why me
Fayez- (thinking) All I'm saying is why didn't they tell me didn't you all say to yourselves, 'if only she or he had told me.'
I asked myself and others that; that friends and others I and maybe you knew from childhood or high school or college died from suicide or a heart that was falling and melting and they just couldn't take it anymore. If only whenever they were about to take their last breath and the last tears slowly fell from those sad eyes they would have talked with me I think about them and I feel guilty don't you see if only they would have sat with me for an hour I know they would I hope with my heart anyway,that they would change their minds, because I would take their hand and say:
it's not your fault you didn't ask to be born you didn't make the bad in the world let me help anyway I can let's get together again I understand you feel pain please let us help we will really be friends look good people are around and you have as much right to smile to laugh to live under that life giving sun please listen please
Very sad. Jay White must have been terrribly confused. Some kids have wackadoole parents and fare well. Others end up like Jay or worse. My heart hurts for him. Now this dopey Jason Freeman...I often wonder what Jay would think of this kid (Freeman) he played step dad to (for a time) claiming the Manson namesake. It is almost like if my ex husbsnd's kids (who never knew my dad) decide they were his heir. Jason is a very unspathetic character in this story and I hope he takes his little string spiders and goes away to the desert like CM would have wanted and stays far under the radar. No one needs to benefit financially from any more of this tragedy. I wish Michael Brunner was not "adopted." I think he has come a long way and should rightly own his place in the story.
ReplyDeleteWhat money? The GnR royalties? Where's the value?
DeleteThe son of the son of man: the prophecy is fulfilled.
ReplyDeletePeter, do you have a list of the transcripts I'm missing?
ReplyDeleteMonica said...
ReplyDeleteNow this dopey Jason Freeman...I often wonder what Jay would think of this kid (Freeman) he played step dad to (for a time) claiming the Manson namesake.
I don't understand why so many people think Jason isn't the grandson. I get why they don't want him to be but i've never seen any evidence to the contrary. Jay White was Charlie's son and Jason is Jay White's son. Its not like he's just some random like Matthew Roberts.
I've never seen any evidence that Rosalie cheated on Charlie nor that Jason's mother cheated on Jay White.
Am i missing something?