Helter Skelter Shocker! Sexy Nancy, What Have You Done!

Forgive me, but this is so funny I HAD to share it! They even used Jack's photoshop of Dennis Wilson and Manson. It's meant as satire, but there are people out there who actually believe things like this. And. They. Can. Vote...

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VEN (LAS VEGAS) — Anti-American, pro-illegal-alien Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)  has denied reports that she was a member of the maniacal  Manson Family hippie death cult responsible for the gruesome Tate-LaBianca murders in August, 1969,  or that she was head-over-heels in love with cult leader Charles Manson, as reported by TMZ Wednesday.

The former Soul Train dancer explained to reporters late Thursday that although she dated guitarist and Manson lieutenant Bobby Beausoleil "briefly" in 1968, and "may" have hung out with The Family at the Spahn Ranch off and on for several weeks in the Spring of 1969, the amount of Jimsonweed, military-grade LSD,  STP, and MDA she was doing has "clouded" her memory.

"In 1967, I was what the kids referred to then as a flower child and yes,  for a brief period of time after running away from home, I  found myself in the company of what turned out to be some very disreputable people.

"Of course, I didn't realize that at the time, you know, with all the . . . the  love-ins and acid and what not, and hanging out  ahh with with all . . . all these famous people like Dennis, Dennis Wilson (he had such a . . . a WONDERFUL you know house in Pacific Palisades!) and  Mel . . . Terry . . . Melcher who was going to . . . to . . . record Charlie, and . . . of course Jay See,  Jay . . . Jay  Sebring!

"But thankfully, in I think it was June of 1969, before anything really  bad happened,  I was, you know, rescued by my father's friend Anton LaVey and never . . . I never . . . looked . . . you know . . . back!

"I never looked back.

"I mean honestly, who . . . who . . . would?

"So no I was never actually a member of the Manson Family, nor as I recall was I never involved ah . . .  romantically  you know with Charl . . . with Mr . . . with Manson, although I certainly . . .  knew (everyone did!)  you know,  who Charlie WAS!

"I mean he was, Charlie was . . . he had . . .  Charlie . . . this . . .   PRESENCE!

"But no, I wasn't.  I was never.  It was more like . . . like I  . . . like I was . . . the . . .  a  friend of this . . . promiscuous  cousin Squeaky  . . .  who at that time with Charlie, Squeaky and I  you know, like like all teenage girls at that time, liked to,  to, to  cease to exist and  have have  . . . a certain amount of . . . of fun and oh my goodness!  looking back now,  you know  we smoked . . .  oh,  by today's standards . . .  a LOT of . . . of grass and pretty, pretty girl  at that time dropping acid all day and dancing just, you know,  just never learn not to love you — OK? —  and sing and drink Jimsonweed tea and give up our world and just . . . just . . .  come and say you love me . . . !

"Come and say you love me!

A young Nancy Pelosi at the Spahn Ranch, May 1969

"Which is EXACTLY what we're being asked to do by the millions of patriotic undocumented immigrants without health insurance who yearn to be free and who are being disenfranchised by our toxic, out-of-touch America First President!"

"So as far as I'm concerned that chapter, the Manson chapter of my, my life is is closed.  And we won't be . . . talking about that anymore!"

Developing . . . .